Elvira isnt her real name, but thats what she asked me to call her. She chose it after Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. That woman never said sorry for bein herself, she told me. Thats kinda what Im on.Shes tall about six-foot-one with dirty blonde hair thats usually tied back in a ponytail. Her lipstick, always slightly smudged, is a deep, Courtney Love red. Shes striking, though shell tell you herself she doesnt always pass. Related This mom had no resources when her trans son came out. So she launched a global support network. Folks can tell, she said with a shrug. I know they can. Whatever. I aint hidin from nobody.She speaks slowly, weighing her words as she goes. The night I texted to tell her I forgot about the interview Id planned to do, she simply replied, Come eat. I made too much. I threw on a hoodie and walked the five blocks to her house. Never Miss a Beat Subscribe to our newsletter to stay ahead of the latest LGBTQ+ political news and insights. Subscribe to our Newsletter today Elvira lives a few streets over in Dallas. We met years ago, before her transition, back when she liked to start political arguments just to keep conversations lively. She served six years in the military, steady and disciplined, with a wife and a baby at home. That marriage was already done, she said. Me comin out just made it official, you know?That baby at home was Iggy. Hes ten now funny, restless, always drawing robots. One morning, he announced, Mom, Im a boy. She looked up from her coffee and replied, Cool. You want another waffle? She laughed at the memory. I probably shoulda said somethin deeper, but I didnt wanna make it weird. He knew I was good with it. When I arrived, she was stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce, Nirvana playing on a Bluetooth speaker. Iggy ran circles around the table, the dog barking at his heels. Dinner was loud and ordinary spilled juice, noodles on the floor, the nightly bedtime argument. Stop actin like an a**hole, she told him. Its nine-thirty. He stomped off, muttering. She shook her head, smiling. Hell be fine. He just dramatic like his mama.After he went to bed, we sat on the couch. She lit a cigarette and took a long drag. HBO Max played a horror series based on It in the background. She exhaled smoke and nodded at the screen. Gurl, Id almost rather It be president than Cheeto Mussolini, she said, laughing.Then she grew quieter. Right now we okay. I mean, I guess. But I keep a bag packed, got a gun too. If sh*t go bad, we out. I aint waitin around for nobody. She flicked ash into the tray. That aint fear. Thats just thats how Im built. Texas gives her reason to stay alert. Since 2023, the state has banned gender-affirming care for minors, and the courts have upheld the law. In 2025, the Legislature passed another bill defining sex strictly by birth and penalizing schools that use a students chosen name or pronouns. They always comin with somethin new, she said. They tryna erase us on paper first. Makes it easier later.When politics came up, she sighed. Man, my parents act like its Christmas, she said. They got the hats, the flags, all that bullsh*t. And they got a trans daughter and a trans grandkid me and Iggy and still, She paused and shook her head. How the f**k you gonna vote for that motherf**ker and then call me talkin about, We miss yall? Get the hell outta here.She stubbed out her cigarette. They say they love us. Maybe they do. But you cant love somebody and vote for folks that wanna make their life hell. That dont line up. I dont know. Its messy. Her military training shows even in domestic life. You get used to orders, she said. You know whos in charge, what your job is. Parenting aint like that. Ill start yellin like Im in formation, and hell just look at me like, Girl, you trippin.She smiled, then sighed. I gotta drive him two hours to therapy cause I dont trust takin him to nobody around here, she said. People talk too damn much. Down there, she cool. She gets it. He likes her. Its worth the gas, I guess.She waved off any idea of activism. I aint out here leadin marches, she said. I just work, pay bills, make dinner, keep him safe. Thats enough. The house smelled of detergent and tomato sauce. Iggys sketchbook was still open on the table, full of crooked robots. Hes into machines, she said. I told him if the blender starts talkin, Im movin out.She looked down the hall toward his room. I tell him the worlds weird, she said. People gon say stuff. Some gon get you, some wont. You just keep goin. Dont change for em.When I asked what its like raising a trans kid as a trans parent, she took another drag and thought for a long moment. Its good, she said. Hard too. You already know whats out there the looks, the laws, the whispers. But you cant drop that on your kid. You just give em somethin better to hold on to. Thats all I can do. Before I left, she peeked into Iggys room. He was sprawled sideways across the bed, one arm hanging off the side. He sleeps wild, she said. Long as hes breathin, Im good.At the door, she leaned against the frame and smiled. People think bein strong means you dont feel nothin, she said. Nah. Strengths just gettin up, doin what you gotta do, takin care of your kid. Same sh*t any parent does. Im just a regular girl with a little extra. I work, I pay bills, I take care of mine. Who we are? Thats nobodys damn business but ours. She laughed, flicked her lighter, and added, And you better make me sound smart in the article, gurl. Tell em Im a transgender b*tch who dont play about my kid.Subscribe to theLGBTQ Nation newsletterand be the first to know about the latest headlines shaping LGBTQ+ communities worldwide.