OK, so my best friend wants to peg me. Now, at first, it was all a joke, but now Im actually down for her being my dom. I just want to know how to get ready for it mentally and physically.Thanks,Nervous Straight GuyHey NSG, Many of your fellow straight dudes will never experience the fun youre about to have. Ive been pegged (by men and women) and assure you, its worth the work. I dont know if one can fully mentally prepare for receptive anal play, especially if its your first time. You will feel nervous, vulnerable, and awkward. Receptive ass play, bottoming whatever you want to call it is hard. The right playmate makes all the difference: If you trust her and can be vulnerable with her; if you believe shell slow down when you ask her to slow down and stop if you say stop, youre gold. You got it.You will need to tell her if something hurts or feels great. Go slow! She must be attentive to your body and breathing, be patient with you, and let you adjust to the feeling; she will not be able to fully take control and dominate your sexy butt the first time you try this. As for physical preparation: Read my post in The Advocate about happy, healthy bottoming and its follow-up post in Out. Together, these amount to a good bottoming guide for all bottoms, including straight pegging subs. Unless youre vegan or vegetarian and have those miracle poops that leave your butt spotless after a bowel movement, you might want to try some gentle douching, which is explained in the posts mentioned above. Douching is not required for enjoyable butt play, but it often makes bottoms feel more comfortable. When I top, I dont care about a hole that isnt perfectly douched most tops dont. Exploring my top side has made me realize bottoms are the only ones who care so much about being super clean its for their own comfort. That comfort is important, but to ease your mind a bit: Your friend knows shes pegging a straight boys butthole and is not expecting the pristine, irrigated rectum of a pro fisting bottom. But a little poop might make you feel uncomfortable during an awkward first-time experience, so to make it easier, I recommend some light, gentle douching beforehand with a small, handheld bulb. (Read those bottoming posts for more details.) Bottoming is a mental journey, not a physical one. I cant bottom well until I surrender, relax my body, and slow my breathing. To help me do this, I mentally picture my butthole opening and draw the focus of my body to it. If it were a meditation exercise (secret: it is), when Im on all fours, I imagine a sense of warmth and gentle focus flowing from the tips of my body my head, hands, feet to my hole and picture it getting bigger. That may sound silly, but it gives me something to focus on when my mind would otherwise spin; it takes me out of my head into my sensations. Since, like you, Im also a sub, that focus Im talking about is not active. Im not moving my hips, riding it (unless told to), pushing out (clenching), or pushing back. Im focusing on letting it be soft, open, and stretched. I mentally decide: Okay, Im going to experience whatever they do to this part of my body, and my only job is to feel it. If something feels good, make sounds. Be loud. Tops need reinforcement that they are pleasing you, and the noises you make pleasure moans or those pressure grunts (when something doesnt hurt but doesnt feel great) tell tops which movements feel better. Remember: she wants to make you feel good. Let your sounds and body guide her. Anal play whether it involves pegging, a penis, or using toys and prostate stimulators is something no one does well on their first try. Keep trying. Dont quit after the first time. I dont mean to boast, but Im a very skilled bottom. I earned my butt from years of lackluster sex, communication errors, impatient tops, and getting poop on someones sheets. The mishaps and failures are part of the process. Its a journey of a lifetime. Why do it? Because there is no orgasm like an anal orgasm from getting pegged with a huge strap-on dildo. Welcome to Valhalla. Hey there! Im Alexander Cheves. Im a sex writer and former sex workerI worked in the business for over 12 years. You can read my sex-and-culture column Last Call in Out and my book My Love Is a Beast: Confessions, from Unbound Edition Press. But be warned: Kirkus Reviews says the book is "not for squeamish readers.In the past, I directed (ahem) adult videos and sold adult products. I have spoken about subjects like cruising, sexual health, and HIV at the International AIDS Conference, SXSW, the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, and elsewhere, and appeared on dozens of podcasts.Here, Im offering sex and relationship advice to Outs readers. Send your question to askbeastly@gmail.com it may get answered in a future post.