Fortune Feimster's hilarious story about introducing her wife to Madonna has us cackling
It's 2024, and many are quick to proclaim that chivalry is dead, or that there's no romance left in the world. This couldn't be further from the truth just ask comedian Fortune Feimster. Feimster a lesbian icon, stand up comic, podcast host, and romantic at heart sat down on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to tell the host about one romantic gesture she pulled off for her wife that was 10 years in the making.Feimster opened by saying that her partner is not easily star struck, with one big exception. "My wife, Jax [Smith], she does not care about celebrities. She does not know who anyone is," Feimster said, adding, "She only cares about Madonna."Smith is unrelenting in her pursuit of trying to intersect with the pop icon. Feimster said, "Every person she would meet, she's like 'Do you know Madonna? How can I meet Madonna? I love Madonna." The two also have a lot in common. "They're both from Michigan, went to the same high school a few years apart." Smith even "credits Madonna with her sexual awakening of liking girls to begin with" Feimster told Fallon. "It was her life's mission to meet Madonna, but that is not an easy person to meet. She's very famous."@fallontonight@Fortune Feimster stared down @madonna until she acknowledged her at a party #FallonTonight #TonightShow #FortuneFeimster #Madonna #JimmyFallon"It was her life's mission to meet Madonna, but that is not an easy person to meet. She's very famous." But that hasn't stopped Feimster from trying, and trying hard. "So for 10 years, all I've tried to do is get her to meet Madonna, and I was coming up short."So for a decade, Feimster tried to orchestrate a meetcute between herself, her wife, and Madonna. She went to extreme lengths, even going so far as to attend a rollerskating party Madonna was supposed to be at. Important and hilarious detail to that story: Feimster absolutely cannot roller skate. She said, "It was just me with a walker roller skating, going, 'Where's Madonna?'"Feimster was so dogged in her pursuit of the mononymous legend because it came from a place of such deep love for her wife. "She moved to L.A. for me. This is the only thing in the world I want to do for her."See on InstagramThen, finally, it happened! Feimster teased, "Earlier this year, you guys, we went to a party, and who showed up? None other than..." Do you need a hint? Do you have your guesses in?Guys, it was MADONNA."She shows up, she's 6 feet in front of me, Jimmy. Stunning, gorgeous, she's in this like, Marie Antoinette like, Vogue-type outfit VOGUE Madonna!" At this point, Feimster can barely keep her composure. She's losing her mind, saying, "And I'm like 'Jax! It's Madonna! Oh my God it's Madonna!"Then the other shoe drops. "But Jax did not wear her glasses this night. She cannot see anything that's not right in front of her face. Madonna's six feet from her, she has no clue. 'It is Madonna! How do you not see Madonna?!'"Hearing this especially as someone who also has terrible eye sight feels like watching a slasher film, screaming at the television that the killer is right there! Jax! It's Madonna! She's right in front of you! Jax, look up it's Madonna!It only gets wilder from there. At this party, Feimster said, all the waitstaff were also dressed as Madonna in the same Marie Antoinette outfit. Feimster likened the experience to "A Where's Waldo of Madonnas" which does sound fun in concept, but is in the top 5 worst games to try and play with your Madonna obsessed and incredibly nearsighted wife. The moment, and Madonna, are gone.See on InstagramBut the night's not over yet! "Two hours later, everyone's gone," Feimster said, except, "There's a woman on a chaise lounge, she's got a sign on that says 'I'm tired leave me alone'."Guys, once again, it was Madonna.Feimster, a self-proclaimed rule follower, didn't want to bother her, but she couldn't let the opportunity slip away again. "This is it. This is the moment," she said. Instead of going up to her and using her words, Feimster starts "staring at her really creepy." Feimster asked Fallon, "You know when you're staring at someone hoping they'll see that you're being a creep?" Yes, and Madonna knew, too.She made eye contact with Feimster, pointed right at her, and gave her a little heart with two hands. Feimster was right, this IS the moment. Madonna summons Feimster over, who then ran back and grabbed an oblivious Smith "like we're going to the last boat of the Titanic."Finally, they both make it over to Madonna. Feimster immediately explodes, telling her in rapid succession, "My wife loves you so much! She's your biggest fan! Thank you for making her gay!"See on InstagramMadonna was apparently incredibly receptive and gracious. "They have this beautiful moment. Madonna gives her a huge hug. They get to, you know, say a few things to each other. It was, like, the greatest thing I could have ever imagined, the greatest way for her to meet Madonna," she said.But the real icing on the cake, according to Feimster? "I never have to go roller skating again!"