Because awkward gay sex happens even to the best of usDont get me wrong, I love having sex with men. Im blessed with an innate ability to see the beauty in all men. (My friends call this being an undiscerning slut, but they just dont understand me!) As someone whos had more than his fair share of sex with men, I can safely say that there are tons of hilariously awkward things that happen during man-on-man sex. This post is a tribute to all those delightfully awkward gay sex occurrences. Enjoy!1. When he wants to film youThere's a time and a place for everything, and these days, especially with a rise in OnlyFans accounts, there are more people who want to "document" their sexual experiences. Not everyone is into this, but it's usually made awkward when the conversation opens with wanting to film, and dies if there isn't mutual interest. Not everyone has to see your sexual experience for you to still enjoy it!2. When you get facial hair in your mouth while kissingWhile I love a bearded man, I have to say Im somewhat turned off when I get his hair stuck between my teeth. Sure, maybe I needed to floss, but thats not what Im going for when Im smooching a bear with a hairy chin.3. When youre lying on top of each other, and your erect penises keep poking each otherHonestly, I think this has to be one of the funnier things about having a penis. While, of course, you can cross swords, you usually end up tucking them up, so you can comfortably cuddle together.4. Beard-burn from kissingIts a thing! Your cheeks get red and tender after making out with a scruffy man. Its the only con of dating a man who keeps a perpetual 5 oclock shadow. Lotion is key for recovery.5. When you orgasm within seconds of him touching youHe should be flattered. You were THAT turned on. Besides, that doesnt mean youre done with all the fun. Keep cuddling, making out, and focusing on him until youre hard and ready to go again.6. When you cant get it upOn the flip side, theres the issue of not being able to get hard something that happens to the best of us. It can be really uncomfortable if you can't get hard, especially if you want to. Utilize this as a time to be kind to yourself, you're not the only one! Which brings us to...7. When he doesn't get hardWere all human, so dont be rude if the guy youre with cant get a stiffy, especially if you have that issue every so often yourself. Take it as a compliment. It probably means he found you so hot that he got nervous. And not to sound like a broken record, but theres plenty of other fun things you boys can do to each other without being hard. You both got hands and mouths, right?8. When hes just too tightThis usually happens when the guy isnt really a bottom or hasnt bottomed in a hot second. Youre both so horny and ready to go, but no matter how much lube is used, you just wont fit. #sad9. When you keep falling outWhen the man isnt super well-endowed, and the bottom is used to something a tad bit larger, the issue of falling out occurs. When this happens, let the top take control. He knows how big his member is and (should) know exactly how far he can penetrate without his peen sliding out.10. When you get a little poop on your penisWeve all been there. Its like, what do you expect? Youre poking around in a goddamn butthole. As the saying goes, you cant roll around in the mud without expecting to get a little dirty. The only thing you can do is laugh together. This shouldnt be taboo to discuss.11. When youre peeling yourself off himInstead of cleaning up after a hot lovemaking session, you and your man decide to cuddle. Twenty minutes later when you try to change from big spoon to little spoon you realize youre glued to one another, due to, ya know, semen.12. When youre looking into his eyesAnd you cant remember for the life of you what the hell his name is even though he drunkenly told you four times at the bar. Thank god there are words like baby, sexy, and daddy we can say during sex. 13. When you run out of lubeYou resort to using spit, which doesnt cut it. Or if youre really desperate, you head into the kitchen and find some olive oil. It makes a mess, but its so much better than boning dry.14. When hes too damn bigTheres big and then theres BIG. God knows I have some size-queen friends who believe theres no such thing as too big, and would kill for a 10-inch monster, but as for the rest of us who dont like being impaled, a foot-long can prove problematic.15. When he ruins the mood by playing with your Prince Albert or nipple ringYou just want to screw, but hes too distracted flicking and playing with your rings. Or worse, he pulls on them way too hard as if theyre not connected to a very sensitive part of your body.16. When you accidentally catch a load in your eyeDid you know this is actually a fetish? Its called an eye shot and there are numerous porn vids dedicated to this. Oh, and by the way, youre not fooling anyone by claiming you have pink eye.17. You cant find his holeYoure poking around down there to no avail, and hes just twiddling his thumbs waiting for you to find the spot. Eventually, if hes nice, hell go ahead and gently guide your dick inside him. Thats when both you and him can finally experience paradise together.18. When he looks nothing like his profileSo was that 15 years ago, or did you have a botched plastic surgery recently? Im confused what catfishers think is going to happen when they actually meet up with a guy. We obviously see that you look nothing like your pictures. Are you just hoping we wont say anything and instead sleep with you out of pity? Seriously, what do you think is going to happen here?19. When you cant finish no matter whatIts amazing when you can last for long period of times, but not being able to finish is downright frustrating. After a jaw and two hand cramps, he finally gives up. Still, dont forget that sex can still be incredible without finishing so to speak. That shouldnt be your endgame during sex.20. When you realize youre both tops or bottomsWait, how did you get this far without realizing it? Youre going to have to pick straws to see who takes one for the team. (Just kidding...but not really...)21. When you have to pee during sexYou cant decide whether to hold it, ruin the moment by getting up to leave, or just pee on him. (Hopefully hes into golden showers.) This is one of the many reasons you shouldnt have sex hammered. Urination gets in the way.22. When you want to bottom more than anything, but you have anal fissuresAs gay men, we like to get our bussies torn up metaphorically...not literally. So when you have rough sex, or hes too well-endowed, it can actually lead to fissures (which are little tears in/around your anus). They can be really damn painful, and when you get them, you have to cool it with sex for a while. P.S. Youre not alone! Theyre a lot more common than ya think...23. When you thought he brought the condomsAnd realize right before youre about to bone that neither of you have. So you put on a pair of sweat pants and frantically sprint over to the nearest CVS. 24. When you finish having sex and it smells a tad bit poopyAt this point, it doesnt matter. You had sex and it was GOOD. But for the sake of enjoying the post-coital cuddle, it may be worth it to hop in the shower and light a candle or two.25. When he pulls your chest hair too hardRunning your hands through a mans chest hair? Thats hot. Pulling it lightly? Also hot. Yanking it to the point of severe pain (when that clearly isnt your thing)? No. Shut it down.26. When the condom breaks midway through...and you dont know how long its been ripped for.27. When your sheets look like a ghost explodedAnd you know you should wash them, but like, you just did three days ago, and you know theyre only going to get dirty again. Still, Iguess, its good to be a hygienic adult and wash your sheets after both you and he jizz all over it.28. When you orgasm unexpectedlySometimes an orgasm sneaks up on you and you climax unexpectedly, spraying everything and everyone within a 5-foot radius. No number of Kegel squeezes can stop all the semen from rushing out.29. When you see a hickey on his neckYou know you shouldnt care (unless, of course, youre in a monogamous relationship), but you cant help but wonder who was there before you. Like, was he cuter than you? Are they serious? Does he actual have a boyfriend and is cheating?30. When you discover your hookup lied about his ageIts weird how often people lie about their age. Some guys pretend to be younger, while others claim to be older. If youre hot, youre hot! As long as you're the legal age of consent, age really shouldn't matter. Be proud of how old (or young) you are.31. When he bites too hardBiting is hot. Who doesnt love a good nibble on their neck? But biting to the point ofOWis not sexy at all. It takes you out of the moment, and also makes you wonder if this guy has ever hooked up with anyone else before.32. When you learned midway through hes got some kinky fetishesFor me, this is always an unexpected surprise, and I love whenever he asks me to do something that I didnt even know was a fetish. (I was once asked to toe-f*ck a guy. He also identified as a top, so there was a lot going on there.)33. When he calls you the wrong nameThis has happened to me on a handful of occasions. Its another one of those times where you just have to laugh. Besides, if you take casual sex too seriously, then its not casual at all, now is it?34. When you learn he has a wifeIm not talking about a polyamorous bisexual man. Im taking about the straight guy who you meet in the locker room sauna whos cheating on his wife. You cant help but feel bad for both his wife (and him).35. When he hands you his designated cleanup towelWe all have one theres nothing to be ashamed of. Although it is a slightly awkward (and unsanitary) if he hands you a towel where you can see the stains of all the men who came (literally) before you.