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30 awkward things guys do in saunas
We all have our reasons for hitting the saunas, and were not here to judge. Whether its pre- or post-workout, sometimes it feels good to just have a relaxing sweat session.That is, of course, until theres that one guy who does something that makes the whole experience uncomfortable. Here are 30 awkward things guys do in saunas. 1. Doing SquatsThere you are relaxing in 125 degrees of pure blistering bliss, when a gym rat swings the door open, finds a space and starts doing squats.2. Adjusting their junkEveryones sticky, uncomfortable and sitting two feet away from you. If youre feeling unbearably restricted, you should rearrange the boys, but you dont need spectators.3. Talking at allSilence is golden. So please STFU.4. FlirtingAs if talking isnt bad enough, they want to try to make a pass while theyre at it?5. Listening to music without headphonesRihanna and Drakes Work slays, but if I want to listen to it, Ill put on my headphones, which is what you should do too.6. Singing out loudWhat part of silence is golden do you not get?7. PlankingGreat, your abs are on point, and your feet are basically in my lap. Plus, I can almost see in your back door.8. Dancing or moving around at allSeriously, just sit still. Were not interested in seeing your dance moves until were at the club, and even then the sauna isnt the place to practice them, honey.9. StrippingBy the time you enter the sauna, you will already be in your towel. Stepping in and stripping down is uncomfortable for everyone even if youre really hot.10. Applying oilsLubing up your aching muscles affects more than just the wooden benches. And if youre a real looker, there could be a lot more wood in the sauna after you oil up.11. Making eye contactDont look at me! Look at your feet or the inside of your eyelids.12. Clipping their toenailsSeriously?13. Picking at navel lintLike clipping your toenails, the sauna isnt the place to clean out your belly button. Save that for the showers.14. Sitting too closeSaunas are notoriously cramped, but do we really have to touch? There should be a gap between your thigh and mine.15. ManspreadingYes, the warm air makes all sorts of things loosen up, but youre taking up too much room. Tough. Buck up and tuck your family jewels.16. Flexing their musclesTheres not even a mirror in here. WTF are you doing?17. Talking on the phoneExcuse me can you call your Grindr buddies back later?18. Sharing personal storiesJust like talking, or flirting, or singing, or any other kind of vocal interaction, dont start sharing personal stories if you cant take the hint. Unless someone else is engaging in the conversation with you, just sit still and relax.19. Drying their stinky clothesWhatever stankiness was going on in your clothes is now wafting into the shared sauna air. Thanks for that.20. Lying down nakedAre you trying to expose your ass to the heat or to every Tom, Dick and Harry?21. Scratching anythingHave an itch on your chest? Thats cool scratch away. But, your itchy taint needs to be addressed in private. Now, put your legs down.22. Spitting on the rocksWe're literally breathing in the steam from your spit.23. Examining body partsCongratulations! There's a mole on your coin purse. You should examine it at home.24. Bending overAre you trying to touch your toes or do you want me to look at your puckered starfish? Anyways, just stop.25. Shaking sweat offI have enough of my own sweat, I dont need more from you.26. Moaning like a whaleWhat is that sound and why is it coming out of your mouth?27. Breathing heavilyIf youre that winded, maybe you should take a break from the heat wave? Just a thought.28. Launching snot rocketsGross. Go away.29. FartingIt already smells in here. Did you really have to add the fumes from your lunch into the mix?30. Rocking a bonerIf we get up at the same time, that thing will poke my eye out.
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