The struggle is REAL and sometimes it HURTS!Listen, TOP ONLY folks out there. You dont know whats like, and you're also sort of annoying. Sorry not sorry. You just dont know about the work that goes into making you happy, nor the struggles that come from bottoming.If youre either unaware of reasons being a bottom is tougher than being a top or looking for a place that understands you, here are 25 reasons bottoms have it a little more difficult than tops.1. Anal FissuresOh, the joys of being a bottom. Bottoming, (especially when the top is rough) puts you at a higher risk for anal fissures, which hurt like hell. Need some help on how to get rid of them? Look no further. 2. You always have to stay fitOkay, so, yes, gay men in general like their fitness, but bottoms are expected to, well... have a great bottom. They're expected to be physically fit, flexible, and strong, so there's always an internal desire to look as good as possible. 3. There's often much more pressureLike staying fit, bottoms have a lot of other pressures, too. If we're being real, even though it shouldn't be like this, bottoms are expected to be "feminine," which means they're also usually expected to do the "women" things like cooking and cleaning. Not okay, but it's a fight that exists nonetheless.4. People don't think you can be versVersatile gay men really do live the best of both worlds. However, if people associate you as more of a bottom, they'll have a harder time thinking you can hold it down when it comes to your turn to be on top. 5. People assume you're easyYes, there are a lot of bottoms who enjoy sex. The double-standard here is the same as with heterosexual relationships, in that the top is not given a second thought for how many holes he puts it in. We'll talk more about slut-shaming later, but just because a man enjoys being on the bottom doesn't mean he wants to sleep with every man he encounters, okay?6. Studies show that %.01 of gay men are topsOkay, this is a blatant lie, but doesnt it seem like that? Bottoms are a dime a dozen. Theyre everywhere. And every time you meet a cute guy and think hes a top, of course, he too, is a bottom. You cant win. Demand is high. Supply is scarce.7. Those tops that never finishSex is great. Sex is amazing. Prostate stimulation is a generous gift that the gay gods have graciously bestowed to us. However, getting pounded for two hours is absolutely exhausting. Theres something called diminishing marginal returns. The amount of pleasure you get from sex after an extended period goes down. It also can start to hurt.8. Not knowing when you can eatThings I never do: go on a date to a Thai or Indian restaurant. Theres nothing worse than feeling bloated and gassy after a meal and having to reject the hot guy who wants to bone you.9. The physical exertionThat shit is hard. Its a glute, hamstring, quadriceps, and ab workout. Even an arm and shoulder workout if you're propping yourself up. It takes a lot of effort to move your entire bottom section in a quick and rhythmic motion.10. Higher risk of HIVBottoming puts you at a higher risk of acquiring HIV than tops. Luckily, theres PrEP. A great piece in The Advocate illustrates how PrEP is empowering bottoms.11. The pain when hes too well-endowedWell-endowed usually is a good thing, but there is very much a thing as too well-endowed. (At least for some men, I know plenty of size queens who claim the bigger the better.) When he cant fit because hes too well endowed and no lube or foreplay seems to help it sucks. It really sucks not being able to have and/or enjoy sex because he has an elephant trunk hanging between his legs.12. CleanlinessCleanliness is not something that tops need to worry about. They can stick that package of theirs into any mailbox, without worrying that they, themselves, might be dirty. Bottoms, on the other hand, have to worry about cleanliness, which definitely takes you out of the moment. We also have to prepare and clean extensively. (Tops dont have to douche their peehole)13. Greedy tops dont care if you orgasmJust because Im bottoming doesnt mean I dont want to ejaculate, and just became you came quickly doesnt mean sex is over. You should always offer to help the bottom finish. Hes got needs too. Hes more than a hole.14. The tops who refuse to have sex with a condomThere are a number of tops out there who only have sex raw. Im not here to judge them. You do your thing, and thank you for being upfront about it. However, its annoying when you want to sleep with someone, you pick them up at a bar, you bring them back home, only to learn he refuses to have sex with a condom on. Its an annoying deal-breaker.15. The lack of foreplayI get it. Youre horny. Youre excited. Youre hard. You want to get things going. We do too, dont get us wrong. But we do require a little bit of foreplay before you start shoving that meatstick inside of us.16. The powerdrillerPower drilling definitely has a time and a place. Most bottoms I know love being power drilled. But not ONLY power drilled. You need to switch it up. Change the pace. Change positions.17. After taking forever to loosen up, he orgasms in 60 secondsNot shaming or in any way judging guys who struggle with premature ejaculation, but sometimes, truthfully, it can be a letdown. So if you do happen to ejaculate quickly, what I recommend is playing with the bottom. Stimulate him with making out and heavy petting, and go again once your refractory period is up. This time youll be able to last longer. Why not cum twice in a session?18. It seems like tops only know of doggy styleDoggy feels divine. It pushes on your prostate in a very heavenly manner, and allows the top to get really deep in there. But sometimes, Im convinced that there are tops out there who literally only know that one position. Switch. It. Up.19. Bottoms are slut shamed more oftenRegarding their sexual conduct, feminine bottoms are often held to the same double standard that straight women are. Bottoms get shamed for being slutty or having a loose butthole (FYI, thats not how anatomy works). Masculine tops, on the other hand, are treated like straight men, and because of this, arent shamed the same way for casually sleeping around with many guys.20. The popper judgersPoppers are indeed drugs, and taking poppers arent as healthy as not taking poppers. But dont judge. I know its not necessarily the most flattering to be plowing a guy from behind, while hes vigorously inhaling, making that snorting sound, but if you want to be in there, you need to live by his rules. For some guys, it simply hurts too much to have anal sex without poppers.21. The assumption that you must be submissiveYou can be an aggressive bottom who runs the whole damn show. Thats what power bottoms are. Just because you like to be penetrated, doesnt mean that you like to be submissive. They are two distinct entities.22. Needing to poop RIGHT after you cleanYou douched yourself up or did whatever your cleaning routine is, only to have to poop an hour later. Possibly, the most frustrating thing in the world.23. Stigma and expectationsThere are a lot of stereotypes and expectations about what it means to be a bottom. This can make it harder to find your sexual identity and make it feel like you can only fit into certain molds to be a good bottom.24. Worrying about your dietIts bad enough that you dont know when a good time to eat is, not to mention always making sure youre clean, but theres also the constant worrying about what youre consuming at any given time. Certain foods make skipping meals easier because theyre satisfying, and others make the cleanliness factor less of a hassle. Tops have the luxury of reaching for the extra free bed at meals; bottoms maybe not so much.25. Pleasing without being pleasedThe culmination of everything. Youre expected to do all of the work from cleaning to oral to choosing the positions. He rarely cares if you finish or not, and he shows little care for your overall needs. Bottoms are constantly expected to do all the pleasing because theyre a dime a dozen, but they dont always get the same kind of respect or attention in return.